Critique of the work

Analyze this work in depth and critique it.

In the image,
mark the points that need correction and
the points that are well done in red.

Critique with unreserved opinions like a top art university
lecturer.

请深入分析并点评这部作品。在图像中用红色文字标注出需要修改的地方和做得好的地方。请像一流美术大学的讲师那样，毫无顾忌地发表意见进行点评。